After 7 years of living with MS, I no longer view my diagnosis as a hardship or deterrent in my life. In fact, over the last year I have truly realized the unexpected gift that MS has given me – the skills to advocate for myself and others.
My diagnosis forced me to learn the ins and outs of the complex insurance and health system, taught me to dig through physicians and medical institutions to find qualified resources, to think through the long-term consequences of my actions and how to ask the right questions throughout my journey. I’ve learned to learn use my voice to push for answers, get difficult appointments and to contest wrongdoings.
What I didn’t realize throughout this process was that this training wasn’t for myself. My training was for my children.
I find myself now raising humans that have started developing their own sets of challenges that need to be managed, much in the same way as my MS… researching specialists, making appointments, monitoring progress and new developments, managing schedules and tapping into resources – just to name a few.
As parents, it’s our job to not only be there emotionally for all the big (and small) parts of their journey, but to help them navigate through their challenges as their advocate.
So in light of this season of gratitude, I want to focus on the positive of having MS… shift the narrative of any diagnosis… and narrow in on the gift that’s behind it all:
MS taught me not only how to become an advocate for myself but for my children and for this, I am incredibly thankful.
If you were going to tell the younger me that I would be diagnosed with an incurable illness that I would have to manage for the rest of my life, I wouldn’t have believed you.
I was a perfectly healthy and happy newlywed when I was told I had multiple sclerosis 6 years ago this week.
Despite feelings of initial grief, anger, and fear, I’ve since learned to not only live with MS but to thrive. I credit my success to 50 (!!) infusions of Tysabri, an incredible neurologist and proactively managing my health journey every step of the way.
After 6 years, two kids, one career shift and several health hiccups later, I am here to remind anyone newly diagnosed with MS that your life is not over. It’ll just look a little different than you imagined and that’s ok too.
As a busy, working mom, I need to be deliberate with my time and energy. (There aren’t enough hours in a day, am I right?!)
To help direct myself, I outline annual goals. These goals account for every part of my life from my career to my finances to my health to my family. I believe clearly articulating your thoughts, intentions and ambitions to paper is the first step to making them happen.
I also recognize the importance of being flexible and accepting that some things may be out of my control – hello, 2020! So I’ll simply do my best to achieve these goals and adjust / prioritize if necessary.
Here’s what I have mapped out for 2021. I will keep these goals next to my desk so they are not overlooked.
2021 Goals
Work / Life Balance
When I started my business in 2016, my goal was to not only make over 6 figures doing something I loved, but to have a lot of flexibility with when, where and how much I worked. I was able to achieve this after 1 year and now my goal remains to keep my work / life balance as my top priority for 2021. Whether I have to work more efficiently, delegate or turn down work, my #1 goal is to balance working on my business, while managing my health and spending time with my children.
De-clutter my Inbox
Last January I did an inbox “clean out” and it was AMAZING! I was ruthless with unsubscribing from promotional emails which freed up lot of my time in the end. I intend to do the same overhaul in January and throughout the year as I receive emails that I am not interested in.
Attend Therapy Weekly
If 2020 taught me anything, its to make myself, my relationships and mental wellness a priority. I started therapy this past summer and commit to continuing weekly sessions that have been incredibly helpful.
Spend 20 Min at the End of Every Day Catching up with Bill
It’s easy to get caught up in the busyness of life, so we have committed to a meaningful 1:1 “catch-up” every day. Whether we do this over dinner or in bed at night, we aim to debrief each other on our day, how we’re feeling and what’s going on.
Diversify my Income
95% of my income comes from SocialChow, my social media agency. 5% comes from affiliate marketing, Etsy, and my blog. I want to more smarter – not harder – to increase my passive income in 2021.
Plan a Trip for September 2021
We need something to look forward to when this is all over right?? Bill and I are planning to go on a vacation together (sans kids!) in fall.
Max out my Retirement Accounts
Every year I aim to contribute the limit to my SocialChow 401K ($19,500) and my ROTH IRA ($6,000). I make this a priority because 1) it reduces my taxable income 2) the impact of contributing now has massive implications on my future wealth (thank you compound interest!!). I also set up an automatic payment from my checking account to our brokerage account to ensure that I am consistently contributing (even if the amount I am contributing needs to be low).
1:1 time with Chloe & Jack
This past summer’s adventures with Chloe taught me that nothing is better than spending quality time with your child. I aim to do this with both Chloe and Jack next year.
Read 1 Book a Month and Finish Investing Course I am Taking Now
I’m a big advocate of continuous learning and have taken a recent interest in personal finance. Books on my list include: The Millionaire Next Door, A Simple Path to Wealth, and Zero to One.
Take a photography class
I take so many pictures on a regular basis, I want to learn how to take better pictures! (If anyone has a reco on a good one, pls shoot it over!)
Budget monthly
At the beginning of every month, I write out a budget for our expenses and at the end of each month I reconcile with the actual numbers. This is something I started in 2020 and want to push myself to continue to do, as it keeps my spending and my goals in line.
Remember Birthdays and Send Cards
Being thoughtful and kind to those I care about it is really important to me so I keep track of birthdays in this spreadsheet and put reminders in my calendar to recognize these important dates.
Investigate Other Areas to Live
Moving has been on my brain for a few months now, so I want to continue our search and figure out what our options are for city / suburban living. The biggest piece of this puzzle is education for the kids and finding a long term schooling option that I feel confident in. Other items on my wish list: back yard for kids, walkable area / close to stores and restaurants, bigger than current house and close to family (15 mi tops).
Goal Templates
Because it’s more fun to write out your goals in a nice template and keep them on display, I created these below. You can access them all on my Etsy page or click on each template below.
As always, thank you for your support in 2020. This blog – and the community I’ve built with it – have remained the biggest blessing of my MS diagnosis.
If you could achieve one goal next year, what would it be?
We hosted an outdoor Halloween party last week and I have to say, it was so much fun!
Even though Halloween and trick-or-treating won’t look the same this year, we still wanted to do something festive with our neighbors so Chloe and I decided to host a pandemic-friendly outdoor party for our block. We had a table of treats and stuffed 200 eggs and hid them around the yard and all the kids went looking for them. We also set up an arts and crafts table so the kids could be entertained while the adults socialized. Win, win for everyone! It also gave the kiddos an extra excuse to wear their costumes!
I have to say, Chloe was my right hand helper with all of the set-up and she even helped with the food and drink prep. She loves getting involved in the action ( “Mom, can I have another task!?” haha) and is already such a great hostess! Love watching her come into her own.
Eats
The party started at 4pm so we just had little bites for the kiddos including munchkins (they now have pumpkin and apple cider ones!), cupcakes, cookies, clementine pumpkins and Chex Mix with candy corn mixed in for color. I also made these Spooky S’more gift bags for the kids.
Drinks
For the adults, I made a super simple seasonal cocktail which consisted of 1 bottle of Carmel Vodka and 1 balloon of Apple Cider. That’s it! Just two ingredients and it was soooo good. For an extra fun touch, I wrapped our drink dispenser in toilet paper so it looked like a mummy.
I also made some Jell-O shots by mixing together one packet of green Jell-O and 1 cup of vodka. I added “eye balls” and “fingers” I found at the Dollar Tree for a spooky touch.
Decorations
Thanks to We Events, we had such a festive and fun balloon installment that took center stage at the party. I love the mix of colors and sizes and how she incorporated stickers and even props like a witches hat into the design. If you need balloons for a birthday or any holiday celebration, Jessie from We Events is amazing and can work within your budget to make a custom balloon installment. She will travel outside the city too!
Tip: go to your local Dollar Tree for seasonal decorations before spending tons elsewhere! Chloe and I also went to the Dollar Tree in Logan Square which has the BEST seasonal goodies for only $1. From the spider webs to the napkins and plates, they have everything you could need to decorate for a Halloween party without breaking the bank. I then ordered the rest off of Amazon (links are all below!).
Entertainment
We decided to do a candy hunt because it’s not only fun for the kiddos but a safe activity during this pandemic. All kids wore their masks as they hunted for eggs filled with candy. We also had a table for arts and crafts. How cute are these scavenger hunt bags below? Only $20 for 12 of them!
Everyone had so much fun, adults included! Cant wait to do it again next year! Happy Halloween!
This year will certainly look different for Halloween but we are still getting into the spirit by hosting a party for the kiddos on the block. Chloe is super into all of the seasonal festivities – from decorating our home with Halloween decorations to picking out pumpkins to planting mums – so she is really excited to have her friends over for some Halloween fun.
Since standard trick-or-treating isn’t feasible this year, we are inviting our neighbors over for a candy hunt in our back yard and stuffing 200 Halloween eggs with all sorts of goodies. We will also have a snack table with treats for the kids and festive Apple Cider cocktails for the adults. Chloe loves participating in the party set-up and has become my right-hand helper with all of the details.
To thank our neighbors for coming, we created these Spooky S’More goodie bags which are cute and super easy to make. You can find the instructions below.
3. Spooky S’more Gift Tag – You’re welcome to download and print the one I made here: Halloween Spooky Smores.
4. Marshmallows – I bought the “flat” marshmallows from target so they are easier to make into a “sandwich”
5. Individual Hersey Candy bars
6. Graham crackers – I broke the whole piece into 2 piece sections
Instructions
In a cellophane bag, add two crackers, 1 marshmallow and 1 Hersey bar (I layered it so it looked like a sandwich)
Add 2 fake siders on each side of the bag so they’re visible from the outside
Print out gift tag template onto thick paper. I like to use this heavy-duty paper that’s printer-friendly but still have more weight to it than standard printer paper
Optional: I laminated the sheet of paper (this is my favorite laminator!) and then used a paper cutter to cut out each tag.
Add a hole punch to the left corner of each gift tag
Place ribbon through each gift tag and wrap it around the bag. Tie knot. Then, tie a pretty bow. Trim the sides of the bow, if needed.
Trim the top of the bag so there’s about 2″ of excess trim
